No one will ever marry their enemy except for peculiar reasons. Even with that, most people wouldn’t dare. This means that before two people can agree to marry, there should be a bond between them-love. Love is the necessary element in every relationship and without it, a relationship can never stand the test of time.
So if people marry those that they love, what then causes bitterness in marriage? It is surprising to know that a spouse can really hate a partner to the point of wishing them dead. A relationship or marriage is between two people and they must come together to ensure that it works.
Also Read: Infidelity and How it Affects Relationships
Most times, we associate cheating with men as a normal thing because they cannot live with only one woman. Really? No man would want to cause pain in the life of the woman he loves. Hence, if a man can say he loves his wife, then he must be faithful to her. Once your wife begins to doubt your love for her, then there is a cause to worry about your marriage.
Cheating in Marriage
The most destructive tool in marriage today is cheating. Once a spouse cheats on the other, there is no longer trust in the marriage and it’s possible for the marriage to hit its crossroads.
A partner who’s been cheated on must make a decision to stay or leave. I know most people would want to leave a cheating spouse because the trust in the marriage is broken. Even if they decide to stay, their level of commitment may not be the same.
Cheating in a marriage is not only harmful to a spouse but children too. If there are children in the marriage and a spouse cheats, there is a tendency of the children bearing the greatest effect. Imagine your child discovering on your phone that you’ve been cheating on her mother or father or this while. The consequences aren’t pleasant at all.
How Cheating in Marriage Affects Children
A lot of children see their parents as role models so the moment they disappoint them by cheating in their marriage, the children lose respect for them and begin to see them differently.
A child who knows that his mother or father is cheating on the other will never respect the cheater. Often, their attitudes change towards the one who cheated. They tend to hate the ‘cheater’ and love their other parent more.
Not only will children disrespect a parent who cheats. They will also hold bad perceptions about marriage and may even be afraid to ever get married because they feel their spouse may do same to them.
At school, they become very quiet and lose concentration in class. In essence, cheating in marriage affects children emotionally. It’s either they become very abusive or very timid.
As their role model, they expect that you do the right thing so if they realize that you are doing anything contrary to what is right, you virtually become their enemy. Though some children may keep quiet and not report the issue to the other spouse, they may blackmail you.
A child may ask you to do something for him or her and if you refuse, they can tell you to do it against your will or report what you did or have been doing.
All Men are Cheats?
Recently, an adolescent passed a comment that all men are cheats. The manner in which she said that intrigued me to ask why she thinks so. Her answer was interesting and I understood where she was coming from.
According to her, she had always seen her father as a saint who wouldn’t even look another woman’s way. Apparently, he had been very responsible at home and hadn’t shown any sign of infidelity. According to her, her dad asked her to retrieve a number from his contact list for him.
Out of curiosity, after retrieving the number, she decided to check his messages. Not because she suspected her dad of cheating on her mother, but she just wanted to check because she wanted to satisfy her curiosity.
Lo and behold, she chanced on her father’s chat with different ladies and he has professed love to them all. She couldn’t believe what she saw and decided to chat with some of the ladies pretending to be her father.
Also Read: Signs of Sexual Harassment in the Workplace
Through that, she got to know how his dad was keeping multiple women as his concubines without her mother’s knowledge. She then concluded that since her dad whom she thought was a saint could cheat and still pretend as though nothing happened, then it is possible for every father to do same.
With this in mind, it will be very difficult to erase this perception from her memory. Though she has vouched never to let his mother know what she saw in order not to hurt her, she can’t love her dad like she used to.