Our parents mostly influence our life’s decisions. It is acknowledged that since they are the ones that take care of us, they always know what is good for us, therefore, we dare not question their choices for us. But are their choices always the best for us?
Every so often, we are unable to bargain for what we feel is better for us for fear of losing our favors with our parents. Therefore, to preserve our relationships with them and always be in their good books, we act according to their instructions. A lot of people have had to endure their parents’ choices for them and regret doing so in the long run.
He Wants Me to Be a Lawyer…
It has happened to me before and I know what I’m talking about. My dad had always dreamt of me becoming a lawyer which I obliged at that time because I thought she knew what was best for me. But little did I know that I would grow up to dislike the law profession. I played along because I couldn’t afford to lose all the benefits I was enjoying at that time. Though I didn’t want to become a lawyer, I wanted to consider it because it was my father’s wish.
… But I Want to Study Medicine
Climbing the academic ladder, I discovered what my interest was-pediatrician. I love babies and wanted to get closer to them each day. Before that, my mom had teased my dad about me becoming a doctor because I was brave and could stand the sight of wounds and blood, which he couldn’t. That motivated me to move to the field of medicine and it became a bone of contention between mom and dad. While my mom agreed to every decision I made for myself, dad wanted me to always go by her decisions and choices.
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My Mother Tries to Be Supportive
I knew that I had endured my father’s attitude for long and wasn’t going to do so this time. I also couldn’t disrespect him so I was in a great dilemma. He even vouched not to pay my fees anymore should mom support me to ‘disrespect’ him. Though mother could take care of us singlehandedly she didn’t want to disrespect her husband’s decision.
She encouraged me and involved our pastor and my grandparents. They were all disappointed that my dad wouldn’t allow me to choose a profession of my choice. After convincing him for some time, he reluctantly agreed to allow me to enter the medical field.
His change of mind really made me happy and I promised to do my best. Funny enough, my younger sister is a lawyer and I am a doctor. Dad got what he wanted-a lawyer! I’ve never regretted entering the medical field and dad has also not regretted allowing me to make that choice. In fact, he always laughs about what happened at that time whenever the topic of decision making by any of my younger siblings is raised.
He has now agreed to allow everyone to make their own decisions concerning professions but promises to only guide us and not to impose anything on us anymore. I fought for that for my family especially, my younger siblings. They are now at liberty to make their own future decisions. What we all have in mind is the fact that we would always be responsible for every decision made. To us, this is better because it makes us more responsible.
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Do You Find Yourself in the Same Shoes as I Did?
I know a lot of young people are going through a similar ordeal as mine some time ago. We have to understand why our parents do so. They try to be so protective because no parent would want to raise wayward children. Every parent wants their children to succeed and they feel the right thing to do for them is to make decisions for them but it doesn’t work that way. The best way to see to it that your children become successful is by getting closer to them and guiding them other than imposing decisions on them.
We are humans and mistakes are inevitably part of us. For that reason, allow them to make mistakes and learn from them. Any parent who imposes decisions on their children and do not allow them to make their own choices only cause harm to them. Such children grow up to become very timid, indecisive, and often fear to make mistakes with their choices when others are not involved to help them.
It is also important to know that our brains work differently and so what you think is good for one person cannot be good for everyone. A child may not be good at Maths in school but this doesn’t mean he or she is dumb. Try to find other areas that they do so well and help them develop their skills there. This way, they will grow up to love you for allowing them to do what makes them happy.